Did you know the first man on the moon was actually British?

Sir Rupert Goggleplop Smithe (British) landed on the moon a full 10 years before the astronaut / saxophone player Louis Armstrong. The mission was such a success that Britain had to keep it under wraps incase it completely undermined the USA and Russia's self esteem. The American's didn't even put the second man on the moon as a mission the following year sent Sir Rupert’s 8 year old son Walter there to retrieve his fathers brolly which he had left behind.